How I Failed In Human Resources
Have you ever gotten to a point in your career where you realized, this isn’t at all what you thought it would be?
Ever since I can remember there’s always been this judgment against HR. Try not to judge me too harshly but, I fell in love with what I thought HR was when I was in the fourth grade.
It was “Take Your Child To Work Day” and my grandmother couldn’t have been more excited to parade me around her office at Mack Trucks and show me off. She worked in finance. I remember it like yesterday
All the “oohs” and “aahs”, some small talk, compliments and laughter. Next thing you know, I was standing in the HR department. I had no idea what they were about but when my grandmother began explaining it to me, my eyes widened and I knew this is what I wanted to do with my life.
Fast forward to graduating, entering into my HR career and realizing right then, this isn’t at all what I thought it would be. I stuck it out because school loans won’t pay themselves and I just figured I needed more experience. Plus, I needed to pay my dues and do the grunt work before I could get to the fun position.
I clung to this vision that HR was the department that aimed at making people happier. I believed they were these superhumans that lived for creating a fun atmosphere, making positive changes and building relationships with candidates, employees and the community.
I couldn’t have been more wrong. The bullying I encountered during my internship was enough to make me want to ditch my college major altogether. However, I stuck it out. Again, I thought, it was only exclusive to that company.
It wasn’t.
The higher I climbed in the company, the more bullshit I faced. Isn’t it funny (not really though), the department designed to create a positive employee and candidate experience is the one that ultimately destroys it?
The politics within the HR department are often more toxic than what happens outside of it.
There came a point in my career where I realized I wasn’t actually helping at the scale I wanted to. I experienced some disrespect and bullying throughout my career but nothing tops the bullying I encountered by my one HR boss. I saw the red flags during the interview, but they inflated my salary and that won me over quicker than I could process the shitstorm I’d be walking in to.
It was a nightmare from day one. I watched her making fun of people sitting in the same room as her without even trying to whisper. She stalked my social media and made fun of the trips I took. She purposely withheld information from me and intentionally gave me incorrect information. When I found a way to get the correct information, she would scold me. My job was threatened to be taken away from me on numerous occasions. She was going to replace me with her “mini-me.” A young man, fresh out of college, who she influenced to be just like her.
I was harassed by a man at work and she told me “if it were actually a big deal she would step in”, she turned departments and the executive team against me, isolated me from the team and I could go on.
I remember the straw that broke the camels back. She started scolding me about my writing and being a domestic violence survivor. She started making fun of my food allergies and the place I grew up and picking apart my accomplishments one by one. I was numb.
Somehow, beneath that numbness, I worked up the courage to stand up to her. To this day, I still have no idea where it came from, but I was done. I had nothing else lined up, no savings, but I had enough self-respect to realize, I’m done. Not just with this company or her, but HR.
During my entire career, I faced disrespect from the one department that was meant to be the opposite. Everything they preached is nothing at all that they lived up to. What was I even doing staying?
I had no plan b. I had kept my head down for months just trying to make it through the day to day that I didn’t even think about a plan b. As soon as I stood up to her she didn’t even bat an eye. She gave me an ultimatum
Either I quit before noon the next day or I get fired.
I was a mess. I was still paying off student loans for a degree I didn’t even care about anymore. I resented HR altogether and I was lost. I had no idea what I wanted to do and I was so far deep into my career that starting over felt almost impossible. I had bills, a lifestyle… I felt like a failure. I fell in love with HR so I could develop people into their best selves so they can live a happier and more fulfilling life.
And now I was walking away from it.
Have you ever been there? At that moment and for some time to follow, it’s a crippling feeling. You struggle to find your place in the world only to have it all fall apart.
There’s a happy ending, I promise. That experience led me to where I’m at in my life today: a business owner who is head over heels in love with what I do. I thought that was HR, but it turned out to be something a bit different.
I might have failed in HR, but I didn’t fail at it. I was able to use what I’ve learned, the good and the bad, to establish a business and do what I’ve always wanted to do: help others become the best versions of themselves.
I know it feels defeating when you’re not in love with your career, your job or your life, but let me tell you… it works out. It’s never too late to try something different.
Oh, and if you’re being mistreated at work or in an internship, you deserve better. Even if you’re in a job you love, keep your resume up to date and always be on the lookout for other positions. You never know.